As the past few weeks have ambled by I find it safe to proclaim that a mere mention of ‘The Presidential Elections’ or ‘The Weather’ more specifically the monsoons has the potential to evoke a passionate response from even the most passive Indians.

And the two most talked about topics in our country today, have caught my fancy too.

The fifth, sixth and seventh months of the year have ushered in a spell of change which, as it stands, has initiated movement in the environs of Rashtrapati Bhavan and reaquainted us with the fury of the summer months and the joy and frustration so typical of the monsoons.

After a debilitating period of intense heat the first few showers of the season brought huge relief and anticipation. The summer was scorching and had effectively transformed my vacations to a form of punishment – ‘House (and Oven) Arrest’ to be more specific. To add to the misery, the rains were not at their best behaviour either. A few spells of patter had done an effective job of ensuring soaring humidity levels. The sun induced inactivity had been replaced by personal mini showers (sweat baths) courtesy fast approaching saturation levels in the upper atmosphere. The water problems of an entire continent can be solved if our sweat can be harnessed as a natural resource – think about it – how bad can it be ? The water will have high salt content and maybe toxins - that sounds like the local Municipal Corporation Water Supply to me !!

Bus journeys were particulary distressing considering the copious amounts of sweat exchanged with fellow passengers.

Meanwhile our nation’s equally distressing political parties were attempting to propel all sorts of candidates to the Presidential Office. The mild mannered Shivraj Patil failed to make an impression on our ‘elected’ representatives. Pranab Mukherjee is far too pivotal to the ruling party’s ambitions, so his candidature was withdrawn. One individual who probably has the potential to do justice to the the prestidge of the post refused to join the race for another stint. After a slight degree of humiliation, courtesy his indecision and the short sightedness and large waistedness of ’The Third Front’, he reaffirmed his unwillingness. So from this melee emerged the most glorious, illustrious, inspirational, talented and respectable candidate, a visionary, Smt. Pratibha Patil – NOT !!

I have to admit – and this is my personal opinion – I have the greatest apprehensions about individuals who make comments to the tune of – “Dadiji ke shareer mey Baba aye” and who have some startling allegations aimed at them – some may be false, but all may not be baseless. 

It pains me to see that an individual, who is at the most, pedestrian as compared to so many other possible, but not visible, candidates might have the honour of being the first women President of the country and thus the face of this nation. It appears as if she may win this race by virtue of being a women and because Rajpath has never seen a lady at the helm.

I never realized how farcical the process of electing a President is. The whim of the ruling party or the one with enjoys a majority (which incidentally is less than 1/1000 times our population) scores well above aptitude, ability and individual persona. The incumbent President is probably an exception, a rare one. Another such exception will be seen the next time Halley’s Comet is around.

As for the other big player – why do politicians in well established, fast moving and successful nations have younger Heads of State, elected, as well as titular representatives ? Tony Blair moved out of office at 54, Bill Clinton at exactly the same age, Jimmy Carter at 57 or thereabouts. However in India, we shall work in the order of caste, religion and age – Merit begone and do not show your face till the nation putrefies !! The politics of the issue leaves me completely perplexed.

And something which is equally perplexing is the last stage of the water cycle – ‘The Rains’. While the northern region was parched and waiting with anticipation for the heavens to open up, another corner of our land was drenched. It was the annual ‘Swimming for Survival’ contest in the coastal regions of the country. Evolution equips species to deal with the environmental hazards they face. I would not be surprised if the coming lot of children from these rain soaked parts are born with an innate ability to swim. Just like the emperor penguins who jump into water and learn to swim at the spur of the moment – a new born child thrown in water will give most aquatic species a run for their money. And if the predicament persists year after year (depending on how long it will take the government to outsource the B.M.C.s work to  private organizations) Mumbaikars may soon grow a pair of seasonal Gills !!

This liaison with the monsoons will be revisited year after year, pray she behaves. As for Presidents, be sure to brew a nice cup of tea 5 years from now, for this debate will be rehashed then.

As I close this chapter of my editorial outburts I can see that it is raining, a slanting downpour with an appreciable intensity – the effect has teleported my mind to the thoughts of braving a squall on the deck of a large ship - a speck in the expansive and treacherous, yet alluring oceans.