SCENE 1 (Telephone Conversation with Anupam Guha)
While I am expounding my views on personality traits, Anupam interrupts me hastily and blurts – “Listen I have to put this down, my girlfriend is calling, I will talk to you later.”
Click.
This, ladies and gentleman, is the same Anupam Guha who has a reputation that suggests, once he is entrenched in a conversation, he will only ‘put it down’ if his cellphone battery dies out or, heaven forbid, he or the other person kicks the bucket.
He called me three days later !! WTF? That must have been one long conversation.
SCENE TWO (Telephone conversation with Harish Alagappa)
Me: Hey, hows it going?
THF: (Hesitantly) Ah, nothing.
Me: Where are you?
THF: South Delhi. (Hanging out with his love interest)
Me: Hmm, anyway, I have an interesting tale I would like to tell you.
THF: (Decisively) Listen, if this is something long then it will have to wait. If it is short and sweet, then maybe I can listen to it.
Me: WHAT !! WTF?
THF: I am little busy right now.
Me: Screw you, don’t treat me talk to me as if I am your mistress !! Short and sweet, jeez !!
Click.
This, ladies and gentleman, is the same Harish Alagappa, who would answer my calls by saying – “Good thing you called, I was getting bored”
He did not call me back. For him, balance is something one keeps after one gets drunk. Why waste it by keeping some in his cellphone?
SCENE THREE
(Manisha has my eyes covered with her hands and asks me to ‘guess who’)
Guha: So, my understanding of your personality was correct. You use your animal magnetism to attract pretty girls.
Me: You, sir, are obviously deranged.
Guha: Really, then why were girls from your class groping you?
Me: Yeah right ! So that is exactly why she went on a date with her boyfriend (who does not happen to be me) after I guessed who she was.
Guha: Boyfriend?
Me: And its not me !
Manisha and her love interest ride into the sunset. Leaving my eyes open to the sight of numerous other couples lurking about.
***
People call me when you are done !!
It’s not my forte, but I’m *thinking*…
By: Nimish Batra on August 9, 2008
at 10:34 am
You must understand, my dear Decay, that… sorry, I’m getting a call right now. Will comment once I’m free.
By: Harish Alagappa on August 10, 2008
at 7:06 am
Dearest Decay,
Sorry for all the anguish you go through because of us. We all are most certain that your superlative animal magnetism would land you someone somewhere..
You do get groped don’t you (by the other sex), so the ‘force’ is still with you..
And I do call don’t I, albeit a little less frequently now… ok ok a lot less frequently..
besides you’ll probably get off the market soon enough, so enjoy your last few days when you are free to get groped.
Yours till 42,
Guha
P.S. Harish doesn’t call me either
By: Anupam Guha on August 11, 2008
at 2:08 am
hey dinesh! great stuff, as always!
(and i’m not starting the next sentence with “This’s Manavi, Aditi’s friend” or other variants of the same)
and well.. couples. tell. me. about. it.
By: Manavi Kapur on August 11, 2008
at 6:23 pm
@ Everyone…
Harish doesn’t call ANYONE. He hates telephony.
By: Harish Alagappa on August 14, 2008
at 8:19 am
@ Nimish Batra
Time up ! What did you *think* of, about .. ?
By: Dinesh Kapur on August 14, 2008
at 1:13 pm
@ Harish
So you don’t call her either, eh?
@ Anupam
Land someone somewhere .. off the market .. last few days when you are free to get groped ..
To quote the great Harish, “I am mingle and ready to single.”
@ Aditi’s friend
Finally a comment ! Thanks, much appreciated. I am glad you like what I write.
By: Dinesh Kapur on August 14, 2008
at 1:22 pm
@DK Escoos me?
By: Nimish Batra on August 15, 2008
at 2:54 pm
Did you say “people call me when you are done” ?
You break my heart , dear.
By: bhukha on October 13, 2008
at 12:54 pm
Epic!
Epic Epic Epic!!!
DeKay urf Decay urf DK urf Dicks…
Writes????
And well????
oho!!!
Osho!!!
Okk over ho ra hai!!!
But cool man!!!!
C
O
O
L
!
By the inevitable N
By: Nitin Khanna on December 2, 2008
at 4:37 pm
Awww…
By: Disha on January 6, 2009
at 7:35 pm