Arthur Dent would agree. It certainly was a thursday.

Crescendo 2008 - the annual festival of SSCBS, or simply CBS - was an event that marked the high point of my pure unadulterated rage, among other things.

Being an ex-CBSite (I had the honour of being a part of that institution for a glorious two weeks) I found the idea of conducting the fest at a SMALL but accessible and largely comfortable auditorium complex, which is incidentally much bigger than the actual college, praiseworthy.

For the few days I spent at CBS, I met some extremely nice people and a certain number of shit-heads as well.

After Crescendo 2008, the shit-head count has certainly gone up by a few.

The systems seemed to be in place, obviously they were not. I would like to point out that I am referring only to the 1.5 quizzes I took part in. 

CORPORATE QUIZ

There was a cherubic bloke with a jovial sense of self who was extremely nice. This fellow was helpful and exuded a level of respectable intelligence. The quiz master for the prelims came across as an individual with an equally pleasant personality and fair sense of perspective.

And now the the ignominious ninkumpoop(s). The finals were conducted by - get this - 4 quizmasters !!

4 freaking quizmasters !! Obviously at CBS soup is a not something they have ever prepared before because the 4 of them did a fantastic job of spoiling the broth.

The two bespectacled blokes had a certain degree of stage presence which made up for their lack of quizzing experience. They were evidently nervous so that can be accepted as an excuse. However, this appeared to be more of a public speaking exercise for the organisers than a quiz.

Now for the star of the show. The ‘quiz master’ who conducted the 1st and last round had obviously made no contribution to the stockpile of questions, zero, zilch, nada !! He was completely oblivious to the reverberation of his voice and the proper usage of a microphone. He would either stuff his mouth with the equipment or be too scared of it. One can only presume he was either hungry or just plain stupid. I would go with the latter. A sheet of paper, and not a working and reasonable brain was the authority on the final answers, specifically for his rounds. Now, I am not asking an oracle to conduct the quiz but atleast those who do take the stage should be aware of the term ’stage presence’. He was alternating between directing the questions at the audience, the ceiling, the floor or himself. This, unfortunately, was not where the buck stopped. This ‘poser’ had the audacity to display arrogance which was so ridiculously misplaced that he deserved nothing but a firm kick up his arse along with a mouthful. The latter was duly delivered to him by me. To say ‘Mercedes MayBach’ instead of just ‘MayBach’ according to this doorknob is saying things which are galaxies apart. This proves my point that he was just the pretty (stupid) face behind the brains. Any half reasonable quizzer would know that Mercedes also has its versions of the Maybach. This sore thumb with his solo performance managed to completely lay waste an otherwise half decent event.

Kudoos to the cherubic fellow and his friend, the quiz did have some extremely good questions, the content was obviously pretty good.

SPORTS QUIZ

B.dot and I scored the highest or second highest in the prelims of the sports quiz. However, due to the lengthy delays this event was held right after the ‘Corpse’ quiz. I was obviously not interested in participating in a quiz after the ‘corpse’ fiasco, instead I was keen on inflicting bodily harm to the shit-head who had done a the spectacular job of ruining this Thursday. After I cooled off slightly, I paid a visit to the auditorium to see B.dot, who did not stand up for me at the ‘corpse’ quiz. He was obviously struggling alone and ironically most of the questions were up my alley. Since I had returned B.dot’s favour of leaving one stranded and the EXTREMELY ARROGANT quiz-master was determined not to let me back into the fray, there was nothing more for me to do there.

However, it is safe to come to the conclusion that those who organised the sports quiz had CERTAINLY done their homework. It was slick and the questions were outstanding. The co-ordinators were well mannered and all. Also the bloke conducting the final round was certainly no stranger to the stage and a microphone.

So in essence, Crescendo 2008 left me EXTREMELY ANGRY and HUNGRY (which added to my anger), but I am sure scores of other people had fun. Not this time for me. Going back to CBS was again more bitter than sweet me. I was reminded of my reasons for leaving the college.

That is it from me, in the words of ‘Eric the great’ - “Screw you guys I am going home.”

It has been hectic, but not the kind of hectic we crave for, atleast not the kind of hectic I like.

I decided to contribute with my efforts towards something which had the makings of another Enron.

The star cast was the same - idiots !!

So I slaved, faced an immeasurable dose of bureaucracry, witnessed PETTY politics, slaved, met some interesting people, was a witness to that famous play ’how not to do things’ and did I mention that I ’slaved’. The cummulative effects of that have left me with fatigue and deficits in more than area of concern.

Anyhow, I’m coming back in an interstellar burst but sans the heroics and saving the universe bit. Atleast for a short while.

So as I wade out of the shittyness, they are still trying to pull me back inside - they want a ’summary’ now. Summarise the last organ involved in digestion, and you will have an answer.

In other news, I might be staring the onset of the ’Queen of all relapses’. I was travelling past one of those roads again, and the signs were so hilariously apt.

L.A. Story rehashed and re - f***ing - played.

The Signs I saw

1) CAUTION - that is always the first sign

2) DIVERSION AHEAD - I know, oh I know alright

3) GO SLOW - ACCIDENT PRONE AREA - I was going too fast the last time and a lot was shattered

4) HARD HAT AREA - she will come swinging, wear a hat for your peace of mind.

I guess it is time to step back for a moment and relax. I also thought Trevorkian’s concept  of recharging batteries / energy / manna was WIS (Weed Induced Shit !!) but maybe even the sane ones need a recharge.

Also, in an endevour to approach life with a little more professionalism each morning I shall change into something less ridiculous than my orange pyjamas as soon as I wake up. Even though I have grown to love them, they may be getting in the way of efficient output.

No I am not dopey, it is still Trevino and so many others.

Lots of minor things to do, so many major ones too. I guess life could have been better - an Mp3 player, loads of GOOD movies, a truck full of GOOD books, oceans of time, FOOTBALL CAREER !! - but then again, life is good still, I cannot ask for more till I take my turn at the wheel, change gears and move things up a notch. After some rest obviously.

 This post, well the initial talk of ’relapses’, is in staunch disagreement with the motto I am trying to imbibe for life, the universe and everything. Maybe this form of expression is a substitute for the need to vent. I hope so. I feel a little easier already. 

I am back baby !! And there is more where this came from ..

P.s. - so we have the king, the queen, the court jester who conveniently can’t do much and the slime balls with their noses stuck all the way inside intestines.  

It is so nice to eat chicken tikka masala again meet you again.  The appetizers section The place looks fabulous.

So, on the 25th day of December, the family drove down to Chandigarh with the purpose of attending a wedding in the old / good friends circle. I tagged along for the prospect of eating a scrumptious meal.

We are Indians and to add to that, we are Pun-jab-is. So if we decide to set course by 9 a.m., sure enough we will leave by 11:00. On this occasion, however, we began our trip at 11:40 a.m. (My bad !! - The women were ready by 9:00, that is when I chose to wake up. The men were at fault.)

Inspite of the holiday period, Murphy’s Law was working overtime. Almost the entire highway from the Capital of India to the joint capital of Punjab and Haryana was undergoing a massive facelift, reconstructive surgery to be more precise. With hints of flyovers and ‘broader’ roads visible, the presence of an operational single lane was invisible. After trudging along with an average speed of less than 40 km/hr on roads which were anything but roads, we found ourselves on a clear stretch. Of course Murphy had other plans. Lo and behold, more construction, traffic, dug up routes and ambiguous directions.   

Anyhow, the journey did have a brightspot - ‘Gulshan ka Dhaba’. Paneer ke paranthe with a plate of butter and SWEET tea.

Weddings have forever been about food, uncomfortable clothes, food, fake plastic greetings, food, extempore introductions and food. Of course, now that I am ‘older’ - eyeing the delectably and delightfully clad fairer beings is another objective of marking my attendance at these social congregations.

After all the travelling we touched down at a suburb of Chandigarh, resting for the night at a rather comfortable abode which had one shocklingly pink bathroom which shocked me, and forced me to use the pleasing blue one. Boogle with cousins, plenty more food, great breakfast - typical visit to the cousins.  

More travelling was followed by lunch at the page 3 hub of chandigarh - with beer guzzling grannies and their model-like grandchildren - in view.

The Wedding : My ‘magnificent’ suit had connived to grow small around the waist, arms, chest and other regions of my anatomy. Anyhow, I marched to ‘Westwood’ for the do. The bride looked like a bride and the groom looked groomy. Between exchanging pleasantries and stuffing my mouth with appetizers (paneer, chicken, fish, aloo tikkas) I scoured the gathering for something to keep me busy till the snacks returned.

There she was, clad in a - light orange meets golden - traditional attire, looking seductive like the dancing flames. (Alright, there was only one worth looking at - the rest were married, (I sighed at them too) - so all my artistic expression will be channelised towards describing her). I grabbed a drink, a hard one (coca-cola) - I had to look mature - I generally go for the bright oranges ones. I fixed my gaze upon her face. A few moments in and she could feel the weight of eyes looking at her intently. She looked up to search for the observer, I turned my head away. Our eyes would meet, but later.

I walked around the lawns, taking in the cast of ‘The Great Indian Wedding’, observing social behaviour. I did my “partimental duties” said the polite hellos, made PC for a bit. Asked questions, answered some. All this while I made a conscious effort to keep playing hide and seek with that picture of breathtaking beauty. And this quickly moved towards an unconscious admiration of the grace she exuded. Our eyes met. Not once, numerous times. Initially I met her with, as steely a look as my eyes could give, and with grit. My stance quickly melted to a faint smile and then a bemused acknowledgement of how fantastic she looked. She smiled, ever so slowly, acknowledging a connection. And in the shimmering light the smile transformed into flirtatious glances. Coy, as she was in her acceptance, now she began playing the game of hide and seek herself looking at whatever little there was to look this way. 

I gestured to her to move away from the group. To my surprise, she complied. We silently pulled away to a secluded corner of the lawns.

“Hey, I have to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl at this gathering. Probably, the most beautiful at all gatherings.”

She fought it hard, but she certainly blushed.
“Ahh, thanks for the compliment. Weddings can get really boring.”

“Specially, when they are not yours”

We laughed.

“Uhuh and how many times have you been married ?” she inquired.

“Well, we have only just met.”

“Right (Rolled her eyes).”

We exchanged names. Made PC. Passed a few comments. Had a good time in each other’s company. Atleast I did. We both managed to make each other laugh, quite often.

After a lull in the conversation she remarked, “You know you are quite cute.”

“I am not so sure about that,” I said. I changed my demeanour to a more serious one. I moved closer. In slightly hushed tone I said, “But I do know its a pity this wedding will not go on on forever.”

She said nothing. She smiled and looked directly into my eyes. I held her hand. Met her gaze, the moment was intense. The scent she wore had me mesmerized. I ran a finger over her velvety cheek. She held my face with her hand. I took a deep breath and knew all that would follow would be pure instinct, I was under a spell. I pulled closer, she drew her arms around me .. Dinesh, what are you doing ? Dinesh ? DINESH !! - Kya kar raha hai be ? Statue kyon pakad ke khada hai ? Teri Chelsea ka match to miss ho jayega. Friends. What would you do without them ?
“I was just trying to figure out what material this thing is made of,” I blurted.
“Regular marble, idiot”.
So I had been saved from experiencing passion with a marble horse.
“Come lets eat food, I am hungry.”
“Yeah, me too.”  

I took a break from my amorous adventures and made my way across to the lavish spread. There was a hint of communalism / regionalism - ’Indian’ and ‘Punjabi’ were different sections of the cuisine. The foreign influence was there - the ’Italians’ and the ‘Chinese’. I also realised why it is called a ’Russian Salad’ and not an Indian one. Because Indians canNOT prepare it. Cauliflower in my salad !! Jeez Louise .. 

Then came dessert, dessert-S to be precise. Suggestion : Keep a dentist ready at Punjabi weddings for sugar induced oral trauma. I had my fill. Burp and all.

A happy married life to the couple.

So the veil slipped off Tata’s zeolously guarded ‘1-lakh car’, slated to hit the roads, and our environment, by June 2008. Fitting is it not ? June of the year 2008, when we will be presented a severe reminder that Global Warming will make the earth as hot as hell. I hope the global climate does not play havoc with human existence, the way we have with the earth, but logic suggests the signs are ominous.

The inspiration for this calamitous creation - “One day, Ratan Tata was going on the road and saw a family of four getting soaked in the rain. That was when he decided to create a small car for all”

So, the Tata’s falsely claim that :

1) It is an eco-car

2) Gives a mileage of 25 km per litre on PETROL (eco-car ?)

3) Meets every international specification, including Euro-IV norms.

This was the insightful description of the Tata vehicle given by R A Mashelkar, former CSIR director-general, currently serving as an independent non-executive director on the Tata Motors Board. Mr. Mashelkar was also of the opinion that this creation marks the “Resurgence of Innnovative India”.

THE REBUTTAL

I find it fascinating as to how people like the obviously and exremely parochial Mr Mashelkar were once given the reigns of an organisation as crucial, to the growth of our country, as CSIR, for the simple reason that today he considers this calamitous project an ‘innovation’. As a NON INDEPENDENT NON EXECUTIVE NON INTELLIGENT individual, who sold his soul to the Tata Motors board, he obvioulsy does not know what he is talking about. I thought people who have occupied such prestigious positions would think atleast once before giving their approval to a Corporate money making racket.

1) It runs on PETROL !! The combustion of petrol in an internal combustion engine - especially a reciprocating one - will produce Carbon Monoxide, Sulphur, Nitrogen, Soot and other unburnt material which raises pollution. What is this utter and complete nonsense about it being an eco-car ? OK, they will argue that the by-products have been drastically reduced. My reply - read on ..

So, the ‘pseudo concerned citizen of India’, the great Mr. Ratan Tata saw a family of four struggling in the rain while he was pacing along stealthly, in his fuel guzzling monster made by the Germans or the British, driven by someone else. His heart went out to them, but it immediately came back because it was wet and cold and he decided - ” lets rip them of their 1 lakhs and make these rains, nasty floods or nastier droughts “. He thought to himself, ” if I somehow manage to create a ‘cheap’ (pronounced and understood as ‘bloody cheap’) vehicle which most of these buggers will buy then I will make a lot of money. “

2) The consequences : There will be more cars on the road then people actually living in cities. Even if your car is ‘eco-friendly’, the fact that 10 lakh of them will be on the road at the same time does nothing friendly to the ecology. The target audience is the middle class family of four, my family maybe, but who will stop the financially sound from buying one for their driver, their servant, their dog, their living room !! The sidewalks have already been taken, where will people drive these cars ? By jove, Govil already has plans to buy one !!

And do you know where these ‘cars’ are being made ? Singur. Agricultural land for the Tata’s so they can come back and bite us in the lungs, lets eat cars for dinner !!

The fact that this ’sham’ comes with a 1 lakh price tag opens up another can of worms - the car uses a ‘large’ amount of PLASTIC !! minus the ‘metallic bolts’ to reduce the weight (read as cost). In a country like India, where traffic sense is not one of the 5 senses given to us by nature, or the 6th, the 7th or even the 42nd, the roads will be battefields.

I have said enough. This is not the definition of lost cost transportation. Maybe, if Mr. Tata had considered dabbling in more High Capacity Low Floor Buses, Roadways construction, Water facilities or just planting trees, atleast that family would have shade to stand under.

Circa, June 2009. Now the son has got bronchitis, the girl has an irritated cornea, the wife has migranes and the man is stuck in a traffic jam. Honk ! Honk !

Up in the sky, is it a bird, a plane, no its smoke from the TatASS !! Cough Cough, splutter, aargghh ..

Teetering on the brink. It has been more than a month since I last played football and I have watched almost every football match aired on the television during this period.

….

The green turf, the ‘firm’ ball, the frenzied crowd - orgasmic isn’t it ?

I NEED TO PLAY !! 

This begs the question, what am I doing here, why am I doing this ? Why ? It has been close to two months since I have been reading about ‘technology’. Trying desperately to ‘photograph’ whatever I have read and give a ‘print out’ or an audio byte to anybody who cares enough to listen and give me ’marks’ instead.

Oh, and I have marks alright - deep gashes on my soul. Now isn’t that dramatic ? Obviously I am going overboard with my wailing, I cannot overlook that fact that I am too ‘Comfortably Dumb’ to care.  

But seriously, I am up till my throat with the Motors, Generators, Armatures, MMFs, Biased Transistors, Unbalanced T-Networks, Shortest Path (to madness) Algorithms, Dependent (on my blood) Energy Sources, Operational Amplifiers (amplying that NOISE !!), Foster’s Net-(trapped in them)-Works, Rotating (oo, its all going round and round) Machines, Field Effect (-ing my mental health) Transistors and the absolute ‘WORKS’.

Q. Why are 3-phase motors better than single phase motors ?  

A. Ahem, because I know only about the latter, and you are better of with the devil you know rather than going with the devil you don’t, and in the words of U2

“What you don’t have, you don’t need it know
What you don’t know, you can feel some how .. “

I have been singing that song to myself before a few exams. Ok, some exams. Alright many exams. Fine, ALL !!
I can keel over at this very instant. The fatigue, oh it is a silent bugger, catches up with one ever so slowly and shackles one down oh so swiftly. It is a heavy mental and physical fatigue that I carry. Stand back ladies and gentllemen this ENGINE is NEARING COLLAPSE.

Q. State and prove the causes IN DETAIL for the Engine’s collapse. (saade baraah number) 

Q. Draw a neat and well labelled diagram along with a schematic representation for the steps taken to ensure the stability of any point of the Engine. (saade baraah number)

Dream Question : Q. List the advantages and disadvantages of anything. Any-rotten-thing. Random (saade baraah number) 

I can radiate a signal, similar in strength, to the one Ford Prefect gave out to the Barman the day Arsenal were going to be thrashed. (Sigh ! Chelsea lost - I am getting disillusioned with the club - a wave of dimwits now pronounce themselves as Chelsea supporters).

In the words of the Manfucturing Processes practicer Sid - ” I ain’t playing any more !! “
” Where is the exit gate ? “ I ask. ” It is a revolving door, you will come right back, ” answers Trek alias Trev OR Rahul (Where are my Car keys ?? !!) Bonjour.

Hrmf, 2 more to go before this semester of engineering and another semester of life draws the blinds on itself. I hate it when I am in a pensieve mood, I leak thoughts. The semester moves on, I don’t. Not yet anyway.

The green grass, the ‘firm’ ball, the frenzied crowd must wait.

w 00 t - word of the year 2007, is it just me or do you also get the feeling that at baser levels humans are just a bunch of twits.

Move over oxford, the WOTC (Wizards of the Coast) is coming out with the new ‘dic-tionary’.

‘Deep Thought’ suggests that I don’t subscribe to these fads because I don’t have the - blink and you miss - technology for these RAM hungry games. Also I am a ‘cache’ 22 gamer.

‘Cache’ 22 gamer

1) Cannot take the ignominy of defeat handed by a box !!

2) Will not change difficulty level above - Novice / Beginner - and subsequently get bored because the box doesn’t have the balls enough to put up a fight

3) Publicaly denounces cheat codes - will not get past the opening credits without them

Dungeons and Dragons, is this what the world is coming to ?  It already has - Dungeons, Dragons and Bikinis - Wow, loot - W oo t !!

Q. What is common to T.O.eye, juliana depandi, ryan gaycrest, Zoom Tv and other high on gloss social systems ? 

Ans. I never saw crap in such varied, colorful and airbrushed forms.

Why am I in such a loving mood ? TOOK the Anal-og Electronics paper today. Did not give much to the answer sheet. Might not get back the life saving and desperately needed marks. Might have to take the ’Rear Electronic Fornication’ again. See, so much give and take.

Must - pass - paper !! Must - never - see - it - again !!

‘The Day after tomorrow’ brings Circuits and Systems with it, and I have been falsely claiming that I know everything in the subject. In my defense, I am second only to Sigismund Schlomo Freud, in my experiments in psychology. So if I wish to give a miss to Nerves, FEAR, Ulcers, Guilt, Frustration, FEAR - Part 2 . . . . Catch 22 again.

GO STUDY FOO !! STUDY !! 

Note : Certain copyright infringements with regard to other blogging styles are NOT purely coincidental. “What yoo gonna do about that, huh ?
Hey, we are all stages of cascaded amplifiers, with mostly unbalanced outputs, you probably input these style bits from someone else.

Must - pass !!   

Not - in - my - hands - though !! Must - pretty please - pass !!

PLEH.

It is a cliche, I know. It has been used more frequently than common sense, is not. The last sentence is an example of, what I like to call, the ‘writer’s sadistic pleasure’. Sentences with nots, despites, fractured thoughts, likes, as much as-s and so on, which never seem to make any sense unless read 2.42 times, belong to this category. Among the authors I have read recenty, Douglas Adams seemed most adept at this art.

Coming back to the cliche, I was referring to the title of this untimely post. Untimely, because it still has not been a month since my last one. 

Typical of me to go off in arbitrary directions, related to the topic at hand but not incisive enough to bring closure to the topic being discussed.

Why a cliche ? Or should I ask, why an understatement ? Cliches have a near perfect record of ensuring delivery of the point being made. Is it not rhetorical, at this point, or any for that matter, to ask about the origins of a cliche ? This question mark, however poses an interesting, question testing one’s knowledge of grammatical correctness; is one expected to leave a space after a ‘?’ or not ? / not? However, a more appropriate question would be, do we try to comfort ourselves by consciously or unconsciously looking for faults in those ‘above’ us or by constantly revisiting our ‘elevated existence’ above others ? This query is not without relevance, as I just got off the phone with M.V. Harish (not Alagappa) and we discussed, pseudo-thoughtfully, the views of an 1) IIT alumnus - Electrical engineer 2) Professor at ’phoren’ University 3) Guest Lecturer at IIT-D, who thought the quality of students at the institute today, is bunk. 

Nonetheless, I am not part of that bunk, or set of unshaved asses, as M.V. Harish puts it, and that puts me in the ‘others’ category. Here I am, lamenting about being slotted among the rest and not the best, while my act lies in disarray. I have posts with ‘to be contd.’ tags for crying out loud !! And crying out aloud is what I do when my grand plans attenuate to nothingness, with near perfect constitency.

Where is consistency when you need it ? At one of my recent excursions, my resolve waivered, oh so slighty, at the sight of, one from the ‘other sex’, sashaying down the stage and upto her seat AFTER displaying flickers of a brain. Maybe the occasional SMALL slip is essential to ensure avoiding a complete aversion towards the ‘other sex’. Though I still believe once BITTEN (chewed, spat out) and FOREVER shy sums up my chances of ever being in a ‘relationshit’ outside the bounds of family and friends.

Also, at this point in time, I lie way outside the bounds of my dreams, attributed to the lack of hard labour and determination by me. By now, I would imagine, nobody is interested in the reason for the existence of this post and its peculiar, by virtue of being common, title. Simple is it not - so much to do, so little done.

1) Electrical Sciences Lab

 Lab =  a workplace for the conduct of scientific research.

Hah !! Haha !! HAHAHAHA !!

External Examiner : What is the meaning of this symbol ?

Symbol - A part of an electrical circuit - A rhombus with the top and bottom vertices marked with a plus and a minus.

#42 : Hmm, umm, eh .. Sir this is a - get this, she actually said this - ”A time dependent time invariant voltage source”  

External Examiner (With uninhibited excitement) : Waah beti, waah !! Bahut paisa hai is mey, tum issey patent kara lo, abhi jao aur patent kara lo !!

2) Engineering Mechanics Lab

Lab = HAHAHAHAHAHA !!

The next incident is a brilliant example of one of the fundamental rights enshrined in part III of our constitution - “Right to Freedom (Freedom of Speech)” - Free thinking and the will to speak were never so hilarious.

Any similarity to incidents from real life have been blatantly lifted.

External Examiner : What is a Ball-peen hammer ?

#43 : Sir, it is a very simple instrument - it has a ball and it has a pen - (PEN !!) - so it is a ball-pen hammer.

3) Back to the Electrical Sciences ”Lab”

Internal Examiner : Explain the working of an Induction type Dynamometer.

#58 : Sir, do you mean Induction type dynamometer wattmeter. (NO !! didn’t you hear him !! )

Internal Examiner : Huh ? .. uhhh, induction type dynamometer.

#58 : Sir, I can tell you Induction type dynamometer wattmeter. (We get to pick the question - yipee !!)

Internal Examiner (thinking to himself - I have never heard of that - yeah cause it doesnt exist !! ) : Ok, explain that.

#58 : (said some - utter crap !!)

Internal Examiner : Class mey to sir aise hilate ho jaise sab kuch samajh aa raha hai, B Tech to ek class mey hi ho gayi, aur ab naye naye instruments banane shuru kar diye.

I will concede 

Liverpool 8 - 0 Besitkas

Arsenal 7 - 0 Slavia Prague

Chelsea 6 - 0 Manchester City

Manchester United 7 - 1 AS Roma

were encounters, as one-sided as our ( Harish Alaguppy and me ) attempt at the ‘Litluminous 2007′ English debate held at ‘Kamla Nehru College’

The topic, however, was worth a duel to the end - ‘highly debatable’ - with expansive realms available for exploration and a plethora of points to hammer the opposition with.

“In the opinion of the house, canon-formation is irrelevant in the global market”

One interpretation was ‘bold’ and extremely ‘literal’ while others were restricted owing to a narrow curriculum.

I had the luxury of consulting ’The Mighty One’ and whatever was spoken to me, and hence spoken by me, was precisely the string of notes that struck music in the ears of the judges. I will, however, take credit for presenting the ideas in the manner that I did. Harish’s impromtu jig did not fetch him the top honours owing to the scanty competition and a laptop in repair. Nonetheless, that did not prevent him from raking in a tidy sum courtesy

1) IInd Best Speaker

2) Best Team

3) Best Interjector

I on the other hand had to remain content with

1) Best Speaker

2) Best Team

not that I am complaining - a rather large helping of luck was involved along with 6 baskets of sweets.

I consider this exercise succesful, not because of the clean sweep, but the contribution - albeit small - it makes to the ‘Armor in my Chinks’.

Another positive was the  sense of vindication that the remarks of the Judges, one in particular, brought to the reality that I am doing engineering (not from the ’best’ college inspite of having an opportunity to go with a few ‘Good Names’ as my alma mater). The essence of the remark was - that Engineers, by way of their curriculum, are exposed to a lot more and hence we were able to view the topic from a much wider and comprehensive perspective contrary to the blinkered view of the literature students. Here, I have to say that the contrary is also true - his praise was noteworthy since it did us a service by highlighting our efforts to improve our mental faculties - as I have seen Literature (or History / Economics / Physics) students who possess the same expansive view and knowledge (not necessarily behaviour) that is worthy of commendation.

Apart from a rare chance at debating (courtesy the rigours of engineering coupled with my pure unadulterated laziness) the trip to KNC brought to light Sir Alagupps-a-lots views on the existence of two sets among human beings. Trust Alacrappy to present the understated in a manner which makes it appear something grossly overlooked. A large chunk of your theories may be original, agreed, but this proverbial ‘Beauty and the Beast’ theory is what most people say sans eloquence. The excogitation finds relevance because prior to it we were two among the only five males (students) in an all girl’s college. Is it a sign of maturity that not a single one seemed worth wasting a tick on - inspite of the overwhelming presence of ‘beauty’ that is notorious for its absentia from the campuses of engineering institutions ? (No I don’t swing the other way, thank you very much.)

P.s. - if you read it, you obviously disagreed, 0.1% might agree - please air those brickbats and bouquets - just say it !!

My trips to Agra are all about good meals, GREAT sleep, loafing, waiting, yawning and waiting some more whilst the  women in the family buy SOME MORE shoes, visiting the ‘monumental attractions’ again and, oh yes, AGAIN !! That is the usual bit - typical recharge vacation. 

However, sticking to the typical wouldn’t make a good a post on a rather dry blog. So, for the thrill of living dangerously, I decided to accompany my family to their movie outings.

On one of our previous trips we had watched ‘Dhoom 2′ and I walked out of the cinema hall with the sense of being among the most intelligent Indians  - because if that appealed to the masses - I have an appeal for the masses - GET A HEAD !!

Cut to November 2007. With the belief that I could handle anything dished out by  *cough* the film makers *cough* of the Indian film industry after ‘Loony Cop and Crazy Biker 2′ I set foot in Shree Talkies for the movie titled ‘Jab We Met’.

And by jove THF was right, again.

Shoot ‘Em Up !!

( I am not talking about the movie Shoot ‘Em Up - though I should be, considering the fact that it had Monica Belluci and not the freaky faced Kareena Kapoor ) 

That was the overriding emotion I felt halfway through the movie. The movie had more Candy Floss than rotten teeth !! More Mush than Pakistan !! It was softer than a Softy - plain vanilla flavour (ugh) !! With so much love in the air - the IIIrd World War seemed like a good idea !!

There were glimpses of scenic beauty along with faint traces of humour ( a few parts per million ) - But as a w-hole it was FLUFF !! Ideal for the love struck and those with good nausea control.

A less biased opinion of the movie - courtesy ‘ghar waale’ - 1) it had its moments, sufficient for ‘time pass’ 2) it was fine - not amazing but not bad either, 3) decent, not too flashy, music was ok.

It was not in the league of ‘Bikinis and lip locks, insult my intelligence 2′ - definitely not as bad. Nonetheless, it was worthless in its own - ‘you complete me, my love, way’

AND BY THE BY !! The background score was ripped of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies - ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ in particular. 

CHEATS !!  You got the music - you forgot to copy the story - Kareena Kapoor would do swimmingly as an ORC !!